Hired & Fired

Wildo had to leave us today. He made it about a week. I have to hand it to him. He was probably the best gay, coke-head, prostitute that the store ever had but he really just didn't know the meaning of inconspicuous. I mean you really don't need to let the whole world know what you are doing... I really kinda dug the guy. He didn't even know me and he would call me sweety and honey and he would ask for hugs. I remember just a few nights ago Wildo asked me to help him pick out a gay porn. I of course told him I'm not very good at that sort of thing and I thought he was big enough to pick out his own movie. I mean we had very deep conversations, like the time he asked me if I thought he was a slut... He really had to ruin it all by telling everyone how much drugs he does and what not. I wonder if Wildo will be able to turn any tricks from the unemployment line. I really do wish the best for ole Wildo.
Well I guess I'm just going to have to cope with the loss of our new fruity man-hooker and wait and see what kinda trash we get next.

Hes A Workin Gal

Today is Will's first day down at the Butt-Plug. He is going through basic training and his mind is being jam packed with all kinds of trashy information. This pill keeps a man hard, this one makes him bigger, this cream makes girls more sensitive, this one numbs men. I remember my first day it was crazy. The manager explained the difference between about 50 different lubes and I'm supposed to remember the difference as the fucking Nazi owner peeks at me from his office. Well anyway Will or Wildo as I like to call him is of course out to impress, especially since its his first day and all.
Wildo is also very flamboyantly gay and I'm starting to notice that hes trying to use this to his advantage for some brownie points on my gay manager. It seems to be having the opposite affect considering that my boss is making him do all the bitch-work. Clean the bathroom, scrape the gum off the floor with a razor blade, put the DVDs on the shelf, and sweep the floor etc. While Wildo is sweeping I notice him talking to an old man by the back door. I ignore it and get back to my conversation with my boss. Our conversation is interrupted by Wildo. He tells us that he just got that old mans number. First of all Wildo is what you describe as a Twink. He looks like a little gay boy and this fucking guy is like 60 years old. My boss warns him that while he is at work, he is not here for "Cruising". I instantly think of Al Pacino and his greatest movie of the same title. Wildo defends himself by saying that the old man forced him to take his number. The boss-man just tells him not to make a habit of this.
The manager takes off for the night and I guess Wildo figures that when the boss is away the porn clerks will play because he almost immediately says "wow I didn't think he would care if I got that old guys number. I need to make money". I just kinda looked at Wildo in confusion. I hope this doesn't interfere with my job here but I really do gotta make money he says. Now it all clicked, Wildo is a fucking gay prostitute and he found his first client on his first day at his new job. It wont be long before this place is a fucking flaming brothel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ok_SM-aSb4

Drag Queens & Cops

The Butt-Plug is like any other Sex-Shop in the sense that it has its share of freaks, perverts and weirdos. Many of which are regulars. One of the regulars is a middle aged balding man named Frank, or Michele depending on how he is dressed at that point of time... In other words Frank is a transvestite who likes to come in late at night, mess up the lingerie section, try on the women's clothes and never buy anything. Of course I let him do this because I find it all quite amusing.

So on one particular night down at the Plug I notice a bunch of police cars and flashing lights outside in the parking lot. I really don't think to much of this and get back to organizing the porn or whatever else I might have been doing at the time. At this point Frank walks by me and grabs an article of clothing off of a rack and brings it to the dressing room where he will transform into Michele. Some time goes by and a police officer walks in and approaches me at the register. Did a man in blue jeans and a brown sweater come in here, he asks. (It just so happens that this is what Frank was wearing tonight) Yes, I reply. Where did he go? The police officer explains that Taco Bell next door was held up and this was the description of the man who did it. I tell the officer that there is no way it could be the man he is looking for but that there is a regular in the dressing room who fits the description.

The cop walks over to the dressing room and demands that Frank comes out immediately. The door swings open and there stands Frank in a fucking pink spandex Playboy-Bunny outfit with his ball-bag exposed to the world and the fucking bunny ears hanging from around his neck and pointing down at the ground. The cop looked like he was either gonna puke on Franks work boots or shoot him in the face. I'm not sure exactly which thought was going through the officers head at this point in time but I found it all to be pretty fucking funny and couldn't wait to find out. Frank answered a bunch of stupid fucking questions and unfortunately he gave his real name, I was kinda hoping for Michele but he took his interrogation like a man and of course he was innocent but it was a night down at the Butt-Plug that Frank, myself, nor the police will forget.

Its A Filthy Job

I have always been a hard worker since I was a Yangon. I had my first job landscaping at Thirteen and I wasn't very much into school. Well maybe with the exception of health class but yeah I didn't really dig school all that much. Being that I got kicked out nice and proper and moved out of mom and dad's in my teenage years, I had to work. I worked in a deli for a bit slicing filthy meats but I left that bullshit for a construction job. I did construction for about six years and just fucking hated it. In fact I pretty much hated the whole world. Why did I have to break my back while other cats would just work at fucking Blockbuster or something and rewind shitty video tapes?

Well luckily for me this beautiful country of ours hit a recession and society was on the verge of economic collapse. Nobody was building houses anymore and I was only working a few days a week. Fuck there's no way I can afford my movie addiction with that kinda pay... So I left the wonderful world of construction and found myself a nice trashy job at the local Sex-Shop. This is the kinda place for me I thought. I can watch movies all day. Have my share of free 70's porn and laugh at perverts all day. Well I coined my place of employment "The Butt Plug". I felt that the name was suitable and that's what my friends and I refer to the classy shop as to this day. The real name of my shop will not be mentioned since I am not an asshole and am not willing to be fired over some stupid fucking Blog that I use to kill my bore-dumb. Sorry but only the names have been changed to protect the filthy, I mean innocent.
Welcome to My World The Sewer, I mean Butt-Plug!!!