Lollipop Girls In Hard Candy (1976)

A group of friends and I ventured off to the city for a screening of this 70's 3D sleaze-fest and we all had mixed feelings on the films outcome. The one thing we all agreed on was that the movie was a mess.  I have to be grateful that I have friends who are as tasteless as I and it is truly a moment of its own when a group of sleazoids line up outside of a theater and wait eagerly for their red and blue 3D glasses so we can all sit together and have cum thrown at our faces or have a big fat 70's bush just inches from our eyeballs. If only this thing was shot in smell-o-ramma then we would really be in for it. As we sat down and waited for the movie to start I couldn't help but smirk as I put the glasses on my head and watched the people around me waiting eagerly for the experience.

Quiet the feature has started:                     

Hard Candy is about a dork who works for a candy industry and has his new aphrodisiac lollipops stolen from him. The thief sends the pops out "all over the country" for some reason or other and it basically leads to three dimensional sex. Then theres some stupid subplot about three ancient warriors searching for the gates of Troy.
When I said that this movie is a mess, "mess" might have been a understatement. The truth is that Hard Candy is a mish mosh of footage, some of which looks like it was taken from other films and when its all put together its just pure incoherent chaos. Aside from the incompetent film making, Hard Candy is also by far the most obnoxious porno film I have ever seen. Every character seems to be screaming in really annoying cartoonish voices and glass is being smashed constantly. Then we have some of the worst editing I have ever seen and it is accentuated with placement of random images. For instance a dragon might randomly pop up on the screen for no apparent reason and it will be gone the next second. Obnoxious is probably the best way to describe this one. It kinda reminded me of an episode of The Dangerous Brothers or more commonly known The Young Ones.
With all that said, I kind of enjoyed this screening if not for anything else, at least for its weirdness and as if the film wasn't bad enough, the projectionist let the reel fall off the projector, possibly for a better grindhouse experience. I still have my obnoxious 3D glasses from the screening and now I need to find a copy on DVD so I can be reminded of a night of fantastic pornographic torture.