Behind The Green Door (1972)

The film that the Mitchell Brothers would never be able to live up to. Its called Behind The Green Door and it truely is a classic in every sense of the word. I can only imagine what was going on in peoples heads as they left the theaters in 1972 or at least those of them who were not spanking off.

The plot is as simple as they come but the depth of camera work and artistic expression goes way beyond. Behind The Green Door tells the tale of Gloria, played by Marilyn Chambers (Rabid) who is abducted and taken to a sort of secret underground swingers club where she will be sodomised on stage in front of a audience which consists of horny deviants.

The movie makes sure to explain that Gloria will not be harmed and will end up remembering nothing more then feeling completely satisfied.

The beauty of the film however does not lie within the plot. Or really within the sex even. Behind The Green Door turns out to be nothing more then a art film with tons of experimental ideas which take place in front and behind the camera. Of course we do have the sexy stuff with scenes of the "Black Stud" played by the awesome leotard wearing, face painted Johnnie Keyes and a wild orgy which displays every kind of taboo from huge naked fat women to chicks with dicks but even most of the sex scenes turn out to be very artsy with outrageously colorful and almost psychedelic cum-shots and we even get a trapeze sex act.

Behind The Green Door is a must see for anyone with any interest in adult cinema from the 70's and I would even go as far as to say for anyone who loves 70's cinema in general. Check it out for a weird time with clowns, sodomy and men diving into vagina's. The film is guaranteed to leave its impression on anyone with half a brain.

Soft Places (1978)

Soft Places is another weird one from the sick and sleazy 70's. Directed by Joanna Williams who did the amazing rape/revenge flick Expensive Taste. This one stars Annette Haven, who is left a widow and has a lot of money coming her way as long as she is willing to follow the instructions that her husband has left for her on a tape recording. "I will not follow instructions from that dead animal" she states in her lawyers office after listening to the wishes of her dead husband. She then goes on to tell how her husband was a mean, violent man without a loving bone in his body.
The tape tells Havens character to masturbate in front of a mirror and learn to love herself. Then to masturbate in front of other men so they can love her too. Then her "Dead animal" of her husband demands she makes love with other women and eventually with another man. Of course Haven gives in and turns out to be quite the nympho.

Soft Places casts some of the ugliest people (aside from Annette Haven of course) in adult history. Many of the actors seem to be junkies or prostitutes taken off the streets. Most of the men can not get it up and looking at the women I can't blame them but what Soft Places does offer is some very strange and of course sleazy happenings. First off we get a sort of Invisible Man homage. There is a sex scene where an Invisible Man (unfortunately not Claude Rains) strips his long jacket and hat. All we see is his penis which obviously is visible and his white gloves. Haven blows the transparent horny fucker and pulls his pud off into a glass of wine and then she slams it down with a face that says... I want more. Then we have a scene where a bearded man sucks a transsexuals dick and eats its ass out. We also get a crazy fight scene in a bar with a pretty amazing stunt for a porno film. Then theres a really silly masturbation scene in a dressing room involving coat hangers and dirty panties. We also get some fat woman loving and last but not least we get one of the strangest forms of necrophilia I have ever seen on film. We get a hardcore XXX fuck scene involving some ashes from a cremated man.
Soft Places might not be the best of 70's smut and I recommend Expensive Taste over it any day but it certainly is a strange one and every scene is unpredictable. Only recommended for hardcore collectors of 70's porn.

Reflections (1977)

This 70's smut flick is sort of a mix between Taboo and Behind The Green Door and at first glance it almost seems like one big Taboo ripoff. To bad Reflections came out about three years before the incestuous classic.
Reflections is yet another tale of incest from the golden age of porn. It involves a brother and sister and their cousin Connie. Through the majority of the film it seems that there is just a big love triangle between the three family members but things get kind of tense when conversations of their childhood comes up. Jealousy rears its ugly head and poor brother seems to be getting the brunt of it. Sister and cousin seem to be playing tug of war with him and nobody is giving him release. He spends most of the film trying to fuck his family members and the most gets is a satin gloved hand-job. One cant help but wonder if the two girls are purposely teasing the horny teen.
Brother has enough of the "games" and drugs his cousin Connie. He performs some oral sex on her and then shoves his man meat down her sleeping throat but before he gets any further his sister comes in and fucks everything up. Brother doesn't get his (full) rape on but sister does. She straps a dildo on Connie and rides it hard.
Brother throws a big party and it turns out to be nothing more then a Behind The Green Door type orgy with face masks and all kinds of strange happenings. We have shrimp cocktail being shoved into vagina's along with whipped cream. Linda Wong also shows up for the best sex scene of the film with John Leslie. The couple get in on with the use of a ladder.
The whole thing comes to a giant what the fuck end... It leaves you wondering what the hell just happened and is pretty disappointing. Brother finally gets Connie and then sister comes in and fucks him in the ass with a strap-on. He begs her to stop but she continues to plow away. She pulls off her mask and brother lets out a cry worse then he did when he was being anal raped by sissy. Then the film erubtly ends. I still have no idea what the point of the ending was and I'm confused as hell.
Still despite my confusion Reflections is another trashy 70's porn flick with a real downer vibe. Well worth a watch. Where else are you going to see shrimp shoved up in sacred places? I just wish somebody would tell me what the ending was supposed to mean.?

The Taking Of Christina (1976)

The Taking Of Christina is another 70's sickie from director Armand Weston (Defiance Of Good). This one is a rape/revenge flick that is supposed to be based on a true story. True or not its an awesome flick with ultra violence, rape and of course hardcore XXX sex.
Virginal Christina is only days away from her wedding when she is abducted by two ex convicts. She is raped and beaten by these two scumbags but in time she almost seems to be enjoying it.She convinces the traveling criminals to take her with them and she leads them into a trap of revenge that ends with a bloody mess in the snow.
Like Defiance Of Good, you really can see the talent behind this thing. The Taking Of Christina is not just your average smut flick. We get nice camera work with depressing music and we even get a decent actor here and there. Right from the beginning of the movie its obvious that this thing is going to end in tragedy and fortunately for us it does. It ends with a shotgun blast to the face. One of our rapists even has his penis blown off with a exploding crotch squib. Another man is stabbed to death and Charles Bronson even appears in a sex scene in a giant poster on the wall. Bronson's mustache and wrinkly face is exactly what the people need during a filthy orgy.
I watched this one with a bunch of friends and everyone was cheering on the penis-wound revenge scene and of course Bronson's big appearance in a 70's porn flick. This just goes to show that adult cinema was and still should be so much better then the crap that these money hungry rapists put out today. Grab a few friends and a few cold ones and check this one out for a filthy good time.

Blue Voodoo (1984)

What a let down this one was. Vanessa Del Rio is one of my favorites in classic smut, with her ultra trashy filmography of fetish and filth but even the Latina anal queen from the golden age of blue cinema couldn't save this one.
Blue Voodoo is about some toolbox named Jason who uses women for their money and leaves them broken hearted. Vanessa Del Rio plays a Voodoo Priestess who for some reason chooses to take revenge against Jason. She summons a woman named the Black Widow to act out the deed of vengeance but for some reason before killing Jason she aids other losers act out their fantasies.
All I want to know is who the hell wrote this thing. This is the worst plot I have ever heard of and the movie is just as bad as the writing. One of the biggest surprises is that Blue Voodoo was directed by one of my favorite porn directors. It was Armand Weston's (Defiance Of Good, Taking Of Christina) last film and its almost impossible to believe that this shot on video mess came from the same man.
In the big revenge scene Samantha Fox is masturbating on top of a bathroom sink, splashing water where the sun don't shine. Jason treats her to a good pounding and then the movie cuts away to our Black Widow dancing at some shitty strip club and slashing her own naked flesh with a big kitchen knife. For some reason every time she cuts in with the knife the same wounds appear on Jason. Samantha Fox seems to enjoy the blood on her lover and rides him harder. Jason doesn't have a normal pop shot. Instead there is a bit of red stuff flying around. This scene might sound good on paper but it came off as a mess on video. Oh and speaking of video, we are forced to watch all these really cheesy video fades and dissolves right in the middle of sex scenes and it gets pretty damn annoying.
Robert Kerman, Sharon Mitchell, Joey Silvera and Jaimie Gillis also show up in Blue Voodoo and the only entertaining moment in the whole movie involves Gillis screwing a girl in a crib, wearing a baby diaper and spraying milk from her bottle all over her face and breasts. Its great watching Gillis trying not to laugh during this scene. I however am still not laughing at this 80's piece of garbage.

 

Q Spot (2001)

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Lollipop Girls In Hard Candy (1976)

A group of friends and I ventured off to the city for a screening of this 70's 3D sleaze-fest and we all had mixed feelings on the films outcome. The one thing we all agreed on was that the movie was a mess.  I have to be grateful that I have friends who are as tasteless as I and it is truly a moment of its own when a group of sleazoids line up outside of a theater and wait eagerly for their red and blue 3D glasses so we can all sit together and have cum thrown at our faces or have a big fat 70's bush just inches from our eyeballs. If only this thing was shot in smell-o-ramma then we would really be in for it. As we sat down and waited for the movie to start I couldn't help but smirk as I put the glasses on my head and watched the people around me waiting eagerly for the experience.

Quiet the feature has started:                     

Hard Candy is about a dork who works for a candy industry and has his new aphrodisiac lollipops stolen from him. The thief sends the pops out "all over the country" for some reason or other and it basically leads to three dimensional sex. Then theres some stupid subplot about three ancient warriors searching for the gates of Troy.
When I said that this movie is a mess, "mess" might have been a understatement. The truth is that Hard Candy is a mish mosh of footage, some of which looks like it was taken from other films and when its all put together its just pure incoherent chaos. Aside from the incompetent film making, Hard Candy is also by far the most obnoxious porno film I have ever seen. Every character seems to be screaming in really annoying cartoonish voices and glass is being smashed constantly. Then we have some of the worst editing I have ever seen and it is accentuated with placement of random images. For instance a dragon might randomly pop up on the screen for no apparent reason and it will be gone the next second. Obnoxious is probably the best way to describe this one. It kinda reminded me of an episode of The Dangerous Brothers or more commonly known The Young Ones.
With all that said, I kind of enjoyed this screening if not for anything else, at least for its weirdness and as if the film wasn't bad enough, the projectionist let the reel fall off the projector, possibly for a better grindhouse experience. I still have my obnoxious 3D glasses from the screening and now I need to find a copy on DVD so I can be reminded of a night of fantastic pornographic torture.